If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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