I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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