I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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