They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize