i would punch a child for taco bell
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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