All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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