sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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