I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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