another moral hangover. fuck.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Randomize