no, he came in my armpit
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
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I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
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Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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