is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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