Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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