He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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