i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize