I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize