Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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