I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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