just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize