My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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