You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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