hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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