JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize