Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize