The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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