somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
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