So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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