I'm going to jail i love you
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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