uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
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