i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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