so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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