i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
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