Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
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If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize