New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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