But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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