Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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