I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize