I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize