Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
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You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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