i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
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