That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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