So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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