turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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