I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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