Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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