Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Just high enough for therapy.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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