How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize