Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
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