My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
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It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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