Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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