Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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