'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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